lauraanne_gilman: (workin')
 Okay, this is VERY IMPORTANT. I just learned that Daily SF March Madness starts on Friday (tomorrow). My story, "Mad Cats and Englishmen" is in the first round!

This is utterly meaningless and carries nothing more than temporary bragging rights, and yet if I fail horribly in the first round, I will be crushedcrushed, I tell you.

You wouldn't want to be responsible for that, would you?

The rules: 
http://dailysciencefiction.com/

The bracket: http://dailysciencefiction.com/documents/dsf-madness-bracket-2013.pdf

(yes, I will remind you again tomorrow, don't worry)

Bwah!

Jan. 31st, 2013 07:02 pm
lauraanne_gilman: (hah!)
 blogged with permission:
 
 
 
 
>     On 1/31/13 6:23 PM, Someone Else wrote:
>
>     No, and I'm turning 40 on [date redacted]. I'm pretty much freaked out as freaked out can >be.
 
> On Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 5:27 PM, Laura Anne Gilman <xxx@xxx.com> wrote:
>
>     Speaking from 45, 40 is no reason to stress.  I promise.
>
 
On 1/31/13 6:26 PM, Someone Else wrote:
>
> I THOUGHT YOU WERE 29!
 
 
*LAG has helpless hysterics*
 
Dear dog, no.  Never again for any money in the world.
 
 
And yes, this IS a Someone who has met me in the flesh.  I'm hoping it's just my relatively unwrinkled skin and not my still behaving like a JD that made her think this....  ;-)
lauraanne_gilman: (rainbow)
 Or, more specifically, tumblr'd.
 
http://suricattus.tumblr.com/
 
I strongly suspect this will be mostly reblogs, random photographs, and random whimsy.  For that reason, I'm keeping it under the meerkat/suricata nametagging, rather than Gilman.  However, all things evolve...
lauraanne_gilman: (Default)
 Some of the amusements and thinky-things I've been linking to elsewhere, in one place for your clicking.
 
 
No, you're not a geek if you recognize these characters. That just means you're reasonably adept at the culture. You're a geek if you immediately start arguing over the placement of most, and discussing who would have been better in that slot...
 
 
 
io9 explains why I was tweet-flailing Thursday night...  RT @io9 Person of Interest delivers a dark, weird, soon-to-be-cult-favorite ep    God, I love that show.  A lot.  With Leverage gone, it's my only "I need to see the new ep!" show currently airing.
 
Wonder what "zero tolerance" means?  This might help explain it.  
 
and, if you were hiding under a rock and issed it:  The Geek-in-Chief approved this message....   
 
(some friends have taken offense at a warmongering etc government having a sense of humor, however geeky. I prefer to think of this as a pro-ISS campaign, and heartily approve.)
lauraanne_gilman: (Default)
*flails madly and dies of teh cute*




(thanks to JG for the link -- and the reminder to wait for the final shot)
lauraanne_gilman: (Default)
Yanked from many years' ago post:

This is for Certain Folk in my life. You know who you are, and I love you anyway.

Because you are my friend!

Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises (without those embedded stupid, "cutesy" graphics that take forever to download) that really speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask. Because you are my friend!

Send this to ten of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right now.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. (Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.)
lauraanne_gilman: (brain.  hurts.)
tv's on in the background this afternoon, some design show, and the homeowner is saying "well, I have these bookcases, I thought I needed them to fill the space, but I don't have anything to put on them or in them...

Bwa? Huh?

Please, honey, give 'em here. I neeeeeeeeeeed 'em!

Meanwhile, work done for the day, I have moved on to the hot bourbon toddy recipe, as was given to me several years ago by an evil friend. You have to be either just coming down with or in the recovery stages of for it to work, but oh it does indeed work...
lauraanne_gilman: (stupid people)
All right. For those of you who've been following/heard of/been nauseated by the Rabid Fan-Entitlement Ho Stupidity of the "Russet Noon" bladerdash? Checkit:

http://www.peterdavid.net/index.php/2009/04/20/potato-moon-rising/

This is going to be entirely satirical, and thus legitimately protected by copyright. In honor of the woman who has inspired this, the title will be “Potato Moon” (since when I hear russet I tend to think of spuds rather than the color.) The first chapter will be written by my daughter, “Twilight” fan Ariel David (with a slightly snarky polish by me.) Just as its inspiration is supposed to be, it will be a sequel to “Twilight” written from the point of view of the werewolf character (at least to start out). The cover (created by Glenn) will be posted on line on Wednesday to whet your appetite and the first chapter will go live Friday at 9 AM. And everyone and anyone is invited to participate in the ensuing round robin.


Go forth and mock, my children. Every time you mock an idiot, somewhere a smart fan gets her wings...
lauraanne_gilman: (Default)
oh god. *dies of the funny and the truth*

Novelists Eric Puchner and Katharine Noel collaborated on a long essay for The Rumpus about the tricky art of marrying a fellow novelist.

The footnotes are what makes the thing. But oh dear. Yeah.


EtA: and for those still following the Kitchen Kronicles, the plumber is here, and we are waiting on the wayward granite delivery/installation guys....
lauraanne_gilman: (meerkat coffee)
And lo, the meerkat is home (earlier than expected due to Family Things) from the usual fantabulous family gathering, only to discover two piteously hungry kittens who had been without fresh food or water for 36 hours, because their cat-sitter took "please feed them Friday" to mean "it's okay it you don't show up until after 9pm, assuming you were going to show up at all." The meerkat is...not pleased.

However, the MIDNIGHT CRAVINGS contest continues until midnight tonight and you have until midnight Sunday to enter the "Plausibility" contest to win your choice of the first three books in the Retrievers series in mass market (new contest starts on Monday)!

Slightly related: if you were to happen to eavesdrop on us yesterday afternoon:

Me: "I have to e-mail them later. They're talking shapeshifters but I don't have a were, I have an incubus." *pause* "Not many people can say that in the course of a business conversation."

My mom: O_O


And totally unrelated: For those who were part of the "what is Socialism" discussion early (or have just wondered where we're going with this regulated economy) you might want to check out the article in this weekend's New York Times: Weekend Opinionator: A Different Sort of Red America

[as an aside: is there such a thing as "today's newspaper" when you read it online, with the access to yesterday's articles and tomorrow's breaking news updates?]
lauraanne_gilman: (Default)
I rarely, rarely embed videos here. In fact, other than the feline tapes, I don't think I ever have. But this one? OMG yes.


The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Rush Limbaugh Leaves New York
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesEconomic CrisisPolitical Humor


What. Jon Said.
lauraanne_gilman: (lol)
and without incriminating anyone:

Person 1: "The REAL question is, how much would you girls be willing to PAY to see a nude wrestling match between Hugh Jackman and Neil Gaiman? I sense business opportunities here!"

Person 2: "Hell, make it a tag-team match -- Neil Gaiman & Taye Diggs v. Hugh Jackman and Viggo Mortensen -- and *I'll* buy a ticket."


*digs into wallet* Me too!
lauraanne_gilman: (all ur desks r ours)
or, In Which Once Again Boomerang Earns his Call-name of "Boomer-You-Idiot."

The Universe clearly heard me telling my folks this evening that cats were so much easier to live with than dogs. I had just decided to turn in for the evening when I heard a rustling noise, like the sound a cat makes when they're into something they shouldn't.

"Boomer, cut it out!" I called, making a not-unsupported guess who was responsible.

There was some more rustling. Then an unhappy meow.

Then a Very Unhappy Yowl.


"Mom? Wasn't there supposed to be a sink there?"

He was deeply relieved when I opened the cabinet doors and let him out of that Awful Place.

The truly amusing thing was that not three minutes later Pandora decided to investigate as well.... but she was smart/agile enough to leap out the way she'd fallen in.


Cats. Oy.
lauraanne_gilman: (Default)
Yesterday I hiked the canyons of Manhattan (anyone who thinks I'm joking has never been to Manhattan), succumbing to some crass commercial lures and avoiding others. Came home. Collapsed in tired heap. Poked a little at work things, and then finally caught "Castle," which -- while thin -- amused me enough to keep me watching. Nathan is adorable, the cop is just the right mix of amused and annoyed to come across as a Real Actual Person rather than Spunky!Cop!Sidekick/Love interest! and his mom and daughter were used just enough to make them entertaining rather than irritating. So long as we keep the ex-wife/publisher to a minimum, all should be well. And did I mention that Nathan is adorable?

Today was all about work. Tap tap tap on keyboards, broken by occasional swearing and intermittent snickering. Very boring to blog about, we shall draw a veil over it, except to sigh that I'm typing this back in my wrist brace. Grr. Tonight, some reading, and the last bit of cooking.

The kitchen is all cleared out and packed up, and tomorrow... tomorrow the cats will be Unhappy. Oh my yes.

Meanwhile, visual publishing humor behind the cut )

And got a funny via GRRM, which I share with you:

-------- Original Message --------

Some of the fans on the Westeros have been doing a SF/ fantasy version of the "Two Cows" meme. One of them drew my attention to the topic and said it might amuse me.

It did.

I thought you guy might enjoy some of these as well, since a few of your names are taken in vain.


The Left Hand of Darkness: You have two cows. Sometimes you have two bulls instead.

Foundation: You have two cows. You keep finding cryptic notes telling you when to milk them.

Roger Zelazny (Amber): You have two cows, all other cows are shadow

A Song of Ice and Fire: You have two cows. They both get killed.

Feast for Crows: You were supposed to have two cows, but Martin only gave you one. He swears that he'll be sending the second cow any day now...

Harlan Ellison: You have no cows, but you must moo.

Piers Anthony: You have two cows, and continue to milk them long after you should have stopped.

Thomas Covenant: You appear to have two cows, but you refuse to believe it.

The Island of Dr. Moreau: You have two cow-people. They kill you.

C. S. Lewis: You have two cows. They are a thinly veiled allegory.

Mad Max: Two cows enter. One cow leaves.

Richard Adams: You have no cows, but you do have a lot of rabbits.

J.K. Rowling: You have one cow. It shits gold.

Gardner Dozois: You gather many calves from many other ranchers, then trade them for a Hugo.

Ellen Datlow: You gather many calves from many other ranchers, then Gardner Dozois gets a Hugo

Daniel Abraham: - You have two cows. These are the only cows in the world, because your ancestors bound the concept of cow to reality through a poem.

H.P. Lovecraft: In the Stygian blackness that surrounds men and all of creation you acquire two cows. They whisper unknowable things to you at night. You mind bleeds with images drawn from the darkest wells of the universe even as you sense a mere fragment of the elder gods shadow your every thought. Slowly you suspect you have become mad as you rave these truths to your fellow human beings even as your plead to your cows to stop their whispering to you. Finally you see in your minds eyes how all of these truths come together. In one moment of true ecstasy you realize the entire scope of terrifying vista of reality and the universe. Seeing your place in the cosmic web of all things both real and unreal. The pleasure is so harsh it becomes intense pain in which the only way to escape it is through self-destruction


(there were a lot more, but these were the best)
--------------------
me again. Anyone feel the urge to add to the list, take your best shot... no sacred cows should remain umtipped!
lauraanne_gilman: (Default)
For my knitting peeps:
Top Ten Reasons Knitting is Better than Therapy (by Knitpurlgirl, via my sister Amy's blog)

__________________________________________________________
For the rest of you, a reminder that "Inferno" is available to either download as a pdf or read on-line at BookView Cafe. And here's a small teaser, to get you motivated....

P.B. took one look at the sea of bodies and skirted around them, not wanting to deal with any more
people today than he had to in order to finish off the job. He knew some humans on a social basis, but they
were Talent, magic-users. They could see beyond white fur, black claws, eyes that were cat-slitted and
the color of dried blood. He had no such faith in these human Nulls to do other than scream and point. Or
point weapons. Idiot humans.

Not that the Talent were any better, overall.

Humans were all annoying creatures.


_____________________________________________________________
And, possibly the last recipe until April:

quick and dirty yum

1 pound ground turkey, browned
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 lb peeled tomatoes, chopped, plus liquid from can
1 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup red wine
1 t. chili powder (hot!)
fresh cracked black pepper

Throw it all into a dutch oven or stockpot. Simmer for about an hour. Feeds two reasonably hungry people, with salad. With starch, would probably feed three people. Easy to double, easy to improvise around. I hesitate to call this chili, but it was pretty damn good.


And now I am off to do various and sundry things with various and sundry people. Be good, and if you can't be good, at least be original....

*ahem*

Feb. 24th, 2009 11:38 am
lauraanne_gilman: (evil laugh)
As mentioned in an earlier post, an ode for all long-suffering literary agents, to the tune of "She's Tired" from the late, great, politically incorrect movie Blazing Saddles, as performed by the late, great and wonderfully funny Madeleine Kahn:

"She's Tired" (the agenting remix)

(best recited with a very bad faux-German accent, or a good Yiddish one)

be warned, this may ear-worm you... )

distinctly not-© Laura Anne Gilman, but credit (and blame) should be placed where due when reposting.


(disclaimer: if you take offense at this, you might want to consider that the behavior described within is not the sort you want to be associated with, and take a lesson from that... also -- parody filk, people! mellow the fkcu out!)
lauraanne_gilman: (meerkat coffee)
I watched about 15 minutes of the Oscars, and then turned to a M*A*S*H marathon instead. I'm really just not an awards show watcher. This morning I woke up with the first faint touches of a cold. The Academy takes revenge? Never mind: I shall take my Sovereign Cold Remedy and soldier on.

Crafted 2300 new words yesterday, making it halfway through chapter 7. We're 1/3 of the way through the rough draft. Yay. Today, there will be Markings with Red Pen, and more words. And there is also the stirrings of another "backstory story." I've decided to just let them run where they will, and we'll see what happens.


The weekend's output also included an off-the-cuff filk to "She's Tired," written for various agent friends. We now need to find a Worthy Cause that would inspire them to perform it....

"I've read 1000's of submissions
Again and again
They write the same thing
They start with Roberts and Heinlein
But they don't check my guideline
And the format's all wrong."


(hey, does anyone out there have the lyrics to my "What do the Published Folk Do?" I lost them in the last hard-drive migration and that made me sad... )

EtA: and for those who missed it over the weekend, my monthly essay is up at http://www.sfnovelists.com/ on "Why Continuity Matters."
lauraanne_gilman: (citron presse)
There was, as it turns out, no writing done today. A lot of cleaning and furniture-rearranging, though. My windows were all open and the music was blasting and hey, it's either Spring at last, or it's going to snow all week. Who knows. Welcome to February.

To amuse you: I have discovered a drawback to the "note" function on my phone. The only way I've figured how to save it is to set it to 'remind' me. Which isn't a bad thing...except I am also a meerkat of little short-term memory. So when I get a notification this afternoon that reads "fine, call me a whore" my first thought was "WTF? Who did I piss off now?"

Then I remembered that was the start of the note I'd made yesterday, off a discussion of a UK newspaper calling romance writers whores. My phone was just reminding me I'd wanted to do something with that quote.

Much relieved.

More entertainment:

from [livejournal.com profile] neadods: Comment to this post and I will give you five subjects/things I associate with you. Then post this to your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

My five:

New York City
Wine Maven
Foodie
International Travel
Publishing


and away I go... )

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