A Meerkat's Bolthole

This post is mostly to remind you that you still have One. More. Day in which to enter the last contest of April and win a signed copy of BLOOD FROM STONE!


I went outside today for the first time since...Saturday? Was like the first day in a foreign country.

Treated myself to some fresh pastry for lunch, which I probably will regret, and then came home before I started to cough and somebody called the CDC*. Then I took a nap. How can I be getting better and still so worn out? Now there will be more page proofs, and some work on the manuscript draft, and whatever else I have the energy to do.

I am so very ready to be healthy again, please thank you.

Anyone else sick? What stage are you in?




[*however, it has been pronounced that I have boring old every-spring flu, not anything exotic. Alas, I am NotAStatistic]

Outbreaks are not pandemics, pandemics are not all OMG Everyone's Going to Die! and this is not 1918.

That said, and speaking as someone who is recovering from a thankfully mild bout of flu, I'm going to remind you of four really important, really basic steps to remember:

1. Wash your hands. Seriously. With soap and hot water and everything, especially if you're using mass transit or shared bathrooms. That's the most common way germs are transmitted, and the easiest to prevent. Wash your hands, cough into the corner of your elbow, not your hands (to prevents transferring germs that way), and wash, wash, wash. Especially if you think you've already got a bug -- even if you think it's 'just' a cold or bad allergies.

2. Sleep. How hard is that? [yeah. I know, I know.] If you're not feeling well, or you're a little tired, or maybe think your body is stressed... cancel something, and take a nap instead. Your body will be stronger and less open to infection for it.

3. If you're sick? Stay home. Don't infect your co-workers or classmates. Also, if you stay home you can sleep and recover faster. Win/win.

4. Don't panic, but don't be stupid, either. So far every case reported in the USA has been mild, but if your symptoms seem more severe than the usual, see your doctor.

Is it a cold, or the flu?

And if you don't already have a flu kit -- put one together this week. An ounce of prevention, as they say...

The thing about Crohns' is that nobody really 'has it' in the same way. I'm fortunate enough to be in remission most of the time, allowing me to almost* forget that I have this disease at all.

And then the Universe sees fit to remind me.

What annoys me the most about yesterday's flare-up is that I lost an entire afternoon/evening of work, which means that for the past few days I've only been able to work on two of the three major projects I have going. Since stress can worsen my symptoms, this also may be the Universe's way of saying "finish the first, then start the third, damn it, you're not Superwriter."

*grumble*

But, considering I have a double-handful of things to do in addition to the Three Majors Projects (including a short story I just agreed to write), this may be good advice.**

In fact, it's probably good advice for anyone: take on a a little more than you can handle -- that's good for you, and teaches you limits -- and how to move past them. But -- even in this crazy, "OMG we're all going to be out in the street unless we work constantly" days [and yeah, we're all feeling it], there's a point at which you have to stop, breathe, and find zen. At least for ten minutes

By finding Zen I don't mean slacking out or vegging in front of the television. I mean ten minutes in which you simply sit quietly and let everything inside you settle, consciously letting go of all the stress and worry and deadlines, and letting yourself be -- and taking note of where you are when you are being yourself. And yes, the irony of using an active tense to describe meditation is not lost on me, and may in fact be the point. This is not a passive meditation.

Breathe. Don't work. Don't consciously chase logic patterns or contemplate your toes. Just breathe and be. Feel out what's inside you, and where you want to go next.

And then go back to whatever needs doing.



*I have to be constantly aware of what I eat, since that can worsen a flare-up, but that's become part of my day-to-day routine and I barely notice it any more.
** this did not, of course, stop me from just now writing down all THREE major projects on my to-do list for the day. *facepalm*

Only about 1400 new words on Pack of Lies yesterday, but they're good words I'm quite fond of, and much of the day was swallowed in Things Other (including, yay, an hour at the gym).

Today I did about 900 words in the morning, then went off and had Carlos work his magic.

( massage neep, for them as are interested )

And then I came home and did the rest of my daily word count. 1500 words a day is a hell of a way to write a book, but it gets it done without the writer getting dead. Hopefully. After a rough start that involved tossing the entire first chapter, I'm liking where this book is going, and how the characters are developing. There's an awful lot front-loaded to set up the caper, but I'm confident that second draft will even things out...

Have been watching the news ticker as it goes by but not flailing myself into the thicket of recriminations re: Obama I've seen elsewhere. I counted on him to be a solemn, pragmatic adult, and so far that's what I'm seeing. Sadly, the people who would be otherwise strong supports seem to have fallen into the "everyone does it, it's okay" pit, and now we're suffering for it (yeah, TD, we're looking at YOU). Dudes, what part of 'accountability" did you think you were going to skate on?

Anyway. Politics, like the economy, is slow and ugly these days. But at least it's being thoughtful and reality-based.

And now I need to gird myself against the gale force winds (not kidding) and head into Little Italy for Jim Blaylock's launch party (and the first official sighting of Ellen Datlow's Leg-wrappings). Play nice while I'm gone, kids!

For those of you who were expecting something from me this weekend, either via e-mail or phone call or Thing Accomplished... sorry. Could not brain, had the Ugh.

Spent the past two days either huddled on the sofa or tucked into bed, waiting for my usual healthy self to show up. The cats helped, bracketing me on either side until I couldn't have gotten up even if I'd wanted to (ever notice a sleeping cat weighs 3x its awake weight?). Couldn't even read or watch a movie-with-plot, because my attention span was about 10 minutes, tops, and then I dozed off. Thanks god for SciFi's Bad Movie Guarantee (they guarantee that if you turn to them during the weekend, they will be running a bad movie. And OMG, ads for "Shark in Venice." Starring Stephen Baldwin, of course).

Inhaling wonton soup seemed to help with the Ugh -- I drank 3 quarts of the stuff over the weekend. Don't want to think about my sodium levels right now. Wonton soup and Tylenol severe cold meds. And a lot of sleep. My sleep deficit has been paid. Bored now.

Am at about 3/4 capacity now, but that will have to do. Thankfully my big plans this week involve wrapping presents, baking cookies and doing year-end filing/database close-out. 3/4 capacity should be able to handle that...

also: Seattle got snow and we didn't? Where's the justice in that? I demand a recount!

EtA: I am amused to note that I handle Chronic stuff much better than I do random cold or flu bugs. I've made my peace with internal hardware glitches -- since they won't let me return it for a refund -- but external viruses? They make me all sorts of cranky.

*yelp* Okay, that answered the question of if I could flex my toes yet.... (I'm a toe-flexer when I'm thinking. That's part of why I prefer to go barefoot whenever possible)

So. At 36 hours and counting, the toe is still a pretty shade of blue-black-green, but it's 'only' swollen to about twice its normal size. Yay. Nail remains intact, yay. Hurts like a m**********r, oh yeah. Can walk so long as I put weight only on heel and large toe, yay (cane is optional for short distances, required for anything more).

The general consensus is a simple fracture, for painful values of 'simple.' Amusingly enough, the toe actually looks straighter than it did before....

I will now spare you further updates.
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And now since toe and felines conspire to get me up at this ungodly hour of a holiday morning -- to work. Having triumphed over the Case of the Secondary Plot, I now have to wrangle the Mutating Motivations of the Hero's faux-Mentor....

Again, remembering that I had to do this several times for Staying Dead before the universe completely gelled for me is not making this any easier. This is why we write series books -- because getting everything set up right the first time is HARD. /whinge

*sigh* Among the mail I got this weekend was a letter from Mass General Hospital. Not the first letter I've gotten on this topic, but it hit me at a time when I have no excuse but my own hesitations*.

See, I'm CMV-negative. Which means my platelets, in addition to my blood, are much in demand, specifically for premies and people with compromised immune systems.

Yeah, I give blood regularly -- I received transfusions when I was a kid, and this is the only way I know how to say thank you for that. But I really dislike doing it -- I don't recover easily, and just the sight of a needle makes me woozy. And apheresis? Takes two+ hours, one needle in each arm.

But.... my physical and emotional discomfort for a couple-three hours, against someone having access to 'safe' blood...

Damn it. I shouldn't have to think about this. But I do.

Anyone out there actually gone through platelet apheresis?



*usually I'm sick, or stressed from deadlines, or etc. Right now I'm healthy, working-but-not-that-stressed, and could manage to get the time off to do it, either there or a more local hospital.

for various reasons, Robie (the laptop) is on the IR list until (we hope) Friday.

This means I have been working on the desktop on a regular (many hours a day) basis.

This is a nice desktop. It has a loverly flatscreen monitor the cats can't sleep on, it has all the software I need and it generally gets the job done.

It also has: a mouse.

For the first time in over two years, I am back to wearing a wrist brace.

Hates meece. Wants touchpad back, damn it.

(yes, I know I could buy an external touchpad. I normally don't use the desktop for so many hours in a row that it becomes an issue)

As some of you know, I am a stresscritter, and I carry it all in my shoulders and upper back. This means I am also a huuuuge fan of massage, specifically deep tissue massage.

This is not your inkly dinky butterfly little girl massage, my friends. This is someone getting in deep and friendly with your muscle tissue, breaking down the stickies and rolling out the sinews until they feel like room-temperature play-do. This is about readjusting those ribs and spine and joints until your body moves the way it's supposed to. To quote the Boss: "Rex said the lady left him limp; love's like that, sure it is."

Pikers. Pikers all. I have just come from my first (and, please god, last) medical massage.

This was suggested to me as a way to deal with the strained neck muscles occasioned by my horrible cold/cough/not-flu-damnit of early November, which left me unable to do much of anything without my good buddy codeine as constant companion for the last week.

So once I felt up to it, I went down the street to the local homeopathic remedy and massage center, to see what they could do for me.

The place is like a cross between a cluttered Chinese apothocary, a small-town doctor's office, and a New Age head shop. This ain't your mamma's Day Spa.

So. I get on the table, wincing as I do so. Trini, a very nice, soft-spoken woman with a heavy accent and graceful hands, turns on the background music (deep forest and water sounds, yay!) and starts to explain what we're in for. My job, as I understand it, is to keep breathing, no matter what.

Okay. I can do that.

She starts in stretching the muscles to make sure that nothing is sticking together (that's bad). So far, so pleasant. She's good, and I like the choice of oils -- some sort of deep, wet, sage-y green smell to it. Then, it gets interesting. And painful. And breathing is suddenly a major accoplishment.

I am good -- even when she is working on a particularly stubborn spot deep inside my right shoulder (alfreda89 could explain what it was, exactly, I'm sure) with the very pointy bit of her elbow, I didn't do more than hiss and mutter. And breathe. At no point did 'back off, bitch!' leave my mouth.

And then she did this steamroller thing with her arm up and down my ribs that made me forgive all. Until she started in on the other side, at which point I think I let out a little scream. Yes. That's where the injury is. Was. Ow. Also, OW! Breathe, right.

But for each painful bit, there was also stretching (lovely) and the application of hot stones (yummy and warm and relaxing) and a scalp massage, and a sinus massage (pressure points on the neck, jawline, ears and face), and the ever-wonderful thing they do with lifting the neck until you feel your spine come to attention like a brand-new baby Marine.

In short, I have been poked, prodded, elbowed, steamrollered, tugged, shifted, shoved and reshaped within an inch of my life, I think I hurt worse than I did when I went in. But there are things moving freely in my body that probably haven't in a long time, and even the aches have this content sort of glow to them.

I don't _ever_ want to do that again. But I may go back there for a regular deep tissue massage on a semi-regular basis.

And now I have to go drink a lot of water, and eat some aspirin.

------

ETA: and the next morning, despite some stiffness and soreness (I feel like I was high-sticked), I am pretty much pain-free. Yay Trini, Mistress of Pain!

NEW YORK - The symptoms of Parkinson's disease that all but ended Michael J. Fox's acting career are making him a powerfully vulnerable campaign pitchman for five Democrats who support stem cell research.

In 30-second TV ads for Rep. Benjamin L. Cardin, who is running for the Senate in Maryland, Senate candidate Claire McCaskill in Missouri and Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle, Fox shakes and rocks as he directly addresses the camera, making no effort to hide the effects of his disease.

In the McCaskill ad, which has been viewed by more than 1 million people on YouTube.com, Fox tells voters, "What you do in Missouri matters to millions of Americans. Americans like me."

( read more )