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lauraanne_gilmanAs mentioned in an earlier post, an ode for all long-suffering literary agents, to the tune of "She's Tired" from the late, great, politically incorrect movie Blazing Saddles, as performed by the late, great and wonderfully funny Madeleine Kahn:
"She's Tired" (the agenting remix)
(best recited with a very bad faux-German accent, or a good Yiddish one)
Here I stand, the goddess of Desire
Set writers on fire
I have this power
Morning noon and night it's calls and meetings
Some quick rejecting
And then a shower
Novelist wannabees always surround me
They always hound me
With one request
Who can satisfy their writing habits?
I'm not a rabbit
I need some rest
I'm tired
Sick and tired of queries
I've had my fill of queries
From clueless and unpubbed
Tired, tired of being admired
Tired of queries uninspired
Let's face it
I'm tired
I've read 1000's of submissions
Again and again
They promise the 'da bomb'
They’re always mailing and calling
and calling and mailing
And still spell my name wrong
Right readers?
I'm tired,
Tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
God dammit I'm exhausted
Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
[Editors:]
She's tired (She's tired)
Sick and tired of queries (Give her a break)
She's had her fill of queries (She's not a snake)
From clueless and unpubbed (Can't you see she's sick)
Tired (She's bushed)
Tired of being admired (Let her alone)
Tired of queries uninspired (Get off the phone)
She's tired (Don't you know she's pooped)
I've read 1000's of submissions
Again and again
They write the same thing
They start with Roberts and Heinlein
But they don’t check my guideline
And the format’s all wrong.
Aye!
Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a freakin' shame
I'm so...
Let's face it my entire in-box is kapput!
[Editors:]
Tired!
distinctly not-© Laura Anne Gilman, but credit (and blame) should be placed where due when reposting.
(disclaimer: if you take offense at this, you might want to consider that the behavior described within is not the sort you want to be associated with, and take a lesson from that... also -- parody filk, people! mellow the fkcu out!)
"She's Tired" (the agenting remix)
(best recited with a very bad faux-German accent, or a good Yiddish one)
Here I stand, the goddess of Desire
Set writers on fire
I have this power
Morning noon and night it's calls and meetings
Some quick rejecting
And then a shower
Novelist wannabees always surround me
They always hound me
With one request
Who can satisfy their writing habits?
I'm not a rabbit
I need some rest
I'm tired
Sick and tired of queries
I've had my fill of queries
From clueless and unpubbed
Tired, tired of being admired
Tired of queries uninspired
Let's face it
I'm tired
I've read 1000's of submissions
Again and again
They promise the 'da bomb'
They’re always mailing and calling
and calling and mailing
And still spell my name wrong
Right readers?
I'm tired,
Tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
God dammit I'm exhausted
Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
[Editors:]
She's tired (She's tired)
Sick and tired of queries (Give her a break)
She's had her fill of queries (She's not a snake)
From clueless and unpubbed (Can't you see she's sick)
Tired (She's bushed)
Tired of being admired (Let her alone)
Tired of queries uninspired (Get off the phone)
She's tired (Don't you know she's pooped)
I've read 1000's of submissions
Again and again
They write the same thing
They start with Roberts and Heinlein
But they don’t check my guideline
And the format’s all wrong.
Aye!
Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a freakin' shame
I'm so...
Let's face it my entire in-box is kapput!
[Editors:]
Tired!
distinctly not-© Laura Anne Gilman, but credit (and blame) should be placed where due when reposting.
(disclaimer: if you take offense at this, you might want to consider that the behavior described within is not the sort you want to be associated with, and take a lesson from that... also -- parody filk, people! mellow the fkcu out!)
