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lauraanne_gilmanYep. it's back. We're watching Boneeater. Why? Two words: Bruce Boxleitner.
The wine is poured, the chinese food eaten and the Snark is set to stun. Updates as they happen.
So far, we have ancient Indian artifacts, obnoxious construction workers (two white and one black, to be racially even) and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
0eris0 the structural engineer has pointed out that they are wearing the wrong color hardhats.
Accuracy, these movies are not known for.
Oh, Bruce Bruce Bruce. That is an impressive paunch you're sporting.
"That was two years ago. I can make my own toast."
"Wow, you have grown up."
Oh dear. This was written by a non-Union screenwriter, wasn't it?
0eris0 is snarking mightily on the construction neep. Hardhats, dude. You have to wear hardhats on site! (me: it's not like they have brains to protect...)
Oooo. An eclipse. Right on schedule for them to Discover The Bones....
Ooo, a tremor! Or the cameraman sneezed...
(OMG the nerdy professor looks like a slightly pudgy Alton Brown. That's really disturbing.)
Okay, why does the creature have a bone loincloth? Or is that a five-fingered...ewwww.
And there go the students. Bye-bye students!
0eris0 is having conniptions over the worksite. "You don't lay foundation! You pour foundation! You lay brick! Oy."
I just want to know how the head honcho manages to go to a worksite in the desert and yet no dust appears on his dark blue suit...
I love Bruce's hair. I want my hair to silver that way.
These are the whitest Indians I've ever seen. And Bruce as mystically-touched part-Indian just makes me laff. Hard.
And where did the bone-eater get a sword? And a horse! Kewl, a bone-horse... it looks like a very dusty shetland.
OMG, this is some of the worst CGI I've seen outside of a student project in a decade... Yes, even worse than "Ghost Rider."
Ooo, Angry Young Red Man argues with Wiser Older Red Man over using the Demon Beast, during which Clews are...
OMG! It's Walter Koenig! Eeee, he looks like hell.
"All evidence points to these men being dead."
me: what evidence? you have no evidence!
Dude. You just gave your girlfriend stolen Indian artifacts. This Will Not End Well... and now you're making out in your truck. You're dead meat.... yep. You're brave, but stupid. And game over!
*yawn* Bruce, I love you, but we need more bad-CGI monster. He's preferable because he doesn't have to mouth badly-written dialogue...
the skinhead Indian tough walks like a duck. That should be his Indian name -- Walks Like Duck.
"This has me stumped." *groan* "I'm just a country doctor." *groanX2*
So how the hell did they get away when nobody else could, even with vehicles? Oh, 'cause they're the heroes. D'uh.
Hey, that actor there delivered a line in a manner that sounded almost convincing! That kid may go somewhere!
Ooo, the half-breed sheriff and the full breed skinhead face off acros a fire...and the score the director chose? A Westerns theme. Um. Hello?
And how the HELL does Bruce know, from nowhere, how to defeat this thing? And when did he learn to throw a bone tomahawk?
And there it ends. All build-up and a resolution I-as-editor would have sent back to the writing-board. Yay for sci-fi saturday night!
(but the "hints for surviving" commercial were amusing -- "if something has eyes in the back of its head...don't stand behind it." Useful tip, that)
The wine is poured, the chinese food eaten and the Snark is set to stun. Updates as they happen.
So far, we have ancient Indian artifacts, obnoxious construction workers (two white and one black, to be racially even) and
0eris0 the structural engineer has pointed out that they are wearing the wrong color hardhats. Accuracy, these movies are not known for.
Oh, Bruce Bruce Bruce. That is an impressive paunch you're sporting.
"That was two years ago. I can make my own toast."
"Wow, you have grown up."
Oh dear. This was written by a non-Union screenwriter, wasn't it?
0eris0 is snarking mightily on the construction neep. Hardhats, dude. You have to wear hardhats on site! (me: it's not like they have brains to protect...)Oooo. An eclipse. Right on schedule for them to Discover The Bones....
Ooo, a tremor! Or the cameraman sneezed...
(OMG the nerdy professor looks like a slightly pudgy Alton Brown. That's really disturbing.)
Okay, why does the creature have a bone loincloth? Or is that a five-fingered...ewwww.
And there go the students. Bye-bye students!
0eris0 is having conniptions over the worksite. "You don't lay foundation! You pour foundation! You lay brick! Oy."I just want to know how the head honcho manages to go to a worksite in the desert and yet no dust appears on his dark blue suit...
I love Bruce's hair. I want my hair to silver that way.
These are the whitest Indians I've ever seen. And Bruce as mystically-touched part-Indian just makes me laff. Hard.
And where did the bone-eater get a sword? And a horse! Kewl, a bone-horse... it looks like a very dusty shetland.
OMG, this is some of the worst CGI I've seen outside of a student project in a decade... Yes, even worse than "Ghost Rider."
Ooo, Angry Young Red Man argues with Wiser Older Red Man over using the Demon Beast, during which Clews are...
OMG! It's Walter Koenig! Eeee, he looks like hell.
"All evidence points to these men being dead."
me: what evidence? you have no evidence!
Dude. You just gave your girlfriend stolen Indian artifacts. This Will Not End Well... and now you're making out in your truck. You're dead meat.... yep. You're brave, but stupid. And game over!
*yawn* Bruce, I love you, but we need more bad-CGI monster. He's preferable because he doesn't have to mouth badly-written dialogue...
the skinhead Indian tough walks like a duck. That should be his Indian name -- Walks Like Duck.
"This has me stumped." *groan* "I'm just a country doctor." *groanX2*
So how the hell did they get away when nobody else could, even with vehicles? Oh, 'cause they're the heroes. D'uh.
Hey, that actor there delivered a line in a manner that sounded almost convincing! That kid may go somewhere!
Ooo, the half-breed sheriff and the full breed skinhead face off acros a fire...and the score the director chose? A Westerns theme. Um. Hello?
And how the HELL does Bruce know, from nowhere, how to defeat this thing? And when did he learn to throw a bone tomahawk?
And there it ends. All build-up and a resolution I-as-editor would have sent back to the writing-board. Yay for sci-fi saturday night!
(but the "hints for surviving" commercial were amusing -- "if something has eyes in the back of its head...don't stand behind it." Useful tip, that)
