lauraanne_gilman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lauraanne_gilman) wrote2006-07-26 09:02 pm
lauraanne_gilman) wrote2006-07-26 09:02 pm
Entry tags:
on being a writer in a non-writing world...
Not much to post about -- working on a new project, waiting to hear on other projects, putting the finishing touches on my travel plans for the next three months or so. Very boring to blog about. Oh, and the Collective volleyball team is now 2-2, if anyone was wondering. We did not play well tonight (I say 'we' but I was on IR because of a pulled leg muscle from Saturday night. Not that I could have made any huge difference. Some nights the teamwork just isn't there.)
Anyway.
One thing did happen recently that left me pondering, so I'm going to ponder in public.
Monday night was the Collective's weekly Happy Hour, which was held (by popular demand) in the courtyard of the Temple Grill, which not only has excellent food but serves its (good) wine in proper-sized glasses. I am single-handly working to raise awareness of wines among my margarita-swilling, beer-guzzling, cosmo-downing buddies. So far, so good -- I've gotten C, at least, hooked on German whites, and M. was intriged by my zinfandel (it was a Cline. What's not to like?).
But I digress, as the thing which caused me to ponder was when the conversation took a sideways swoop into matters alternative (lifestyle). It was a pretty frank and interesting discussion, which then ended and moved on. No big -- except that it caused a newcomer to our table to be told "hey, you just missed the porn."
And everyone looked at me, as though I were the instigator. And I said as much, adding with a long-suffering sigh: "I don't know why I always get tarred with that brush."
"Because you were the one talking about S&M?"
"It wasn't S&M, it was..." *pause* "Y'know what? Never mind. I'm really very vanilla."
Laughter followed, before we moved on to the next conversation.
But. As I said, it got me thinking.
Apparently, among normal (non-writer) folk, having certain (theoretical) knowledge is NOT considered vanilla*. They weren't shocked (okay, some of them were), but the thought of knowing something that was not of personal importance, or work-related (or sports trivia), simply for the interest of knowing it.... It was an alien concept to them. And sexual alternatives? It, apparently, had never occured to them to investigate beyond the random bits that came their way via popular culture or scandal, even though it was clearly of enough interest to have a casual exchange about it -- and to be pleased when they found someone to explain certain terms and psychologies to them**. And it wasn't because they were embarassed to be talking about sex, either -- I was not the one, um, oversharing at the table, because NOYDB, thanksverymuch. And it wasn't because they were white middle class straights, either -- we had a decent blending that night.
And I realized: the world constantly astounds me with its lack of curiosity. If you know someone who has a different approach to life, you can either ignore it, or explore it. Ignoring it seems to very.... boring, no? And I happen to be honestly interested in how other people experience the world. This too seems to be odd to my lawyer and engineer and architect friends, as otherwise intelligent as they are.
I can't imagine not poking around curiously at things. When we're told to "write what we know," it always sounded like a clarion call to know more, not write less.
But maybe that's just me.
*this used to get me in trouble at the office, too. I blame Disclave....
** as an aside, is the psychology of D/S really all that weird? I don't subscribe to it myself (TMI!) but I can see where it works for some people, emotionally... (and makes some characters act the way they do, and other writerly things which belong in another post, if there's interest)
Anyway.
One thing did happen recently that left me pondering, so I'm going to ponder in public.
Monday night was the Collective's weekly Happy Hour, which was held (by popular demand) in the courtyard of the Temple Grill, which not only has excellent food but serves its (good) wine in proper-sized glasses. I am single-handly working to raise awareness of wines among my margarita-swilling, beer-guzzling, cosmo-downing buddies. So far, so good -- I've gotten C, at least, hooked on German whites, and M. was intriged by my zinfandel (it was a Cline. What's not to like?).
But I digress, as the thing which caused me to ponder was when the conversation took a sideways swoop into matters alternative (lifestyle). It was a pretty frank and interesting discussion, which then ended and moved on. No big -- except that it caused a newcomer to our table to be told "hey, you just missed the porn."
And everyone looked at me, as though I were the instigator. And I said as much, adding with a long-suffering sigh: "I don't know why I always get tarred with that brush."
"Because you were the one talking about S&M?"
"It wasn't S&M, it was..." *pause* "Y'know what? Never mind. I'm really very vanilla."
Laughter followed, before we moved on to the next conversation.
But. As I said, it got me thinking.
Apparently, among normal (non-writer) folk, having certain (theoretical) knowledge is NOT considered vanilla*. They weren't shocked (okay, some of them were), but the thought of knowing something that was not of personal importance, or work-related (or sports trivia), simply for the interest of knowing it.... It was an alien concept to them. And sexual alternatives? It, apparently, had never occured to them to investigate beyond the random bits that came their way via popular culture or scandal, even though it was clearly of enough interest to have a casual exchange about it -- and to be pleased when they found someone to explain certain terms and psychologies to them**. And it wasn't because they were embarassed to be talking about sex, either -- I was not the one, um, oversharing at the table, because NOYDB, thanksverymuch. And it wasn't because they were white middle class straights, either -- we had a decent blending that night.
And I realized: the world constantly astounds me with its lack of curiosity. If you know someone who has a different approach to life, you can either ignore it, or explore it. Ignoring it seems to very.... boring, no? And I happen to be honestly interested in how other people experience the world. This too seems to be odd to my lawyer and engineer and architect friends, as otherwise intelligent as they are.
I can't imagine not poking around curiously at things. When we're told to "write what we know," it always sounded like a clarion call to know more, not write less.
But maybe that's just me.
*this used to get me in trouble at the office, too. I blame Disclave....
** as an aside, is the psychology of D/S really all that weird? I don't subscribe to it myself (TMI!) but I can see where it works for some people, emotionally... (and makes some characters act the way they do, and other writerly things which belong in another post, if there's interest)